"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
