Can i not drive my cunt home
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
