how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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