im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
