At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
