Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
im holly from the hills drunk
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
