I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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