she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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