I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
