Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
