drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
