we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
