We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
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