Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
