all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize