she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
