are you still at the devil's house?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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