Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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