You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
