I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Found the puke drawer
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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