He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
