How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Randomize
