I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
