First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
