She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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