I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
