um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You pole danced in your parka.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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