You just made me feel so damn special
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
