What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
