last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i out mim tonsoeep
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
