I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
