Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Randomize