when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
