Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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