i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
