I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
