i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
