Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
