I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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