"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I lost the right to judge tonight
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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