remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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