So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
