I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
