I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
