the new term for farting is butt boxing.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize