I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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