She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
two words...techno handjob
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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