He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
