She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
All the doctor said was why
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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