Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
