Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
