he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
