Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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