You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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