I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
