Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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