So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
