I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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