things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
