It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
