me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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