U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
