she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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