If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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