Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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