yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize