He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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