All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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