obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
