i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
