i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Randomize
