Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
this hospital has no fireball
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
