I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
