i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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