Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
