is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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