what if every blade of grass was a penis?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
